A Welcome Home Pirate Party for Queen Ruby

 A Welcome Home Pirate Party for Queen Ruby

Copyright 2023 by William J. Hamilton, III

Chapter 3

Previous Chapter- Chrystal Goes a Roving

Two weeks ago, Queen Ruby of the Pirates left Charleston to reach the West Coast where she hoped to make contact with the High-Tech underground near San Francisco. For a capable, intelligent woman from the year 1623, the cross-country Amtrak train trip (Ruby lacks the ID needed to fly commercial) has been a wonder. She’s seen technical progress everywhere, but more human suffering and waste than she can accept. Clearly this is a society which doesn’t know how to steer a sustainable course towards human happiness for everyone. She saw this in her time three centuries ago, but given the wealth and power available now, seeing these same problems causing billions to suffer flabbergasts her. 

In California, Ruby fits right in. In the High-Tech underground of former Twitter, Apple and Google employees who are now scraping by on the edge of the internet economy.  She’s a woman without an IP address or email. She shuns high tech devices for the fear they’ll make her detectable to her enemies. 

The tech people love Ruby. She’s cool and different. Ruby says the most amazing things. She’s a quick learner and very strong on what they call “human factors.” Working together, sneaking into the massive complexes of the high-tech companies at night with forged credentials. They’ve subjected the Key to the Sea to all sorts of tests. It’s a remarkable piece of metal for sure, with a weird structure and odd elements in the alloy they can’t identify, but they can’t tell what it does (Ruby won’t tell them) or how to control it. They do understand that Ruby must be from somewhere utterly different from here and the most perceptive know she isn’t from now. Ruby may know how to time travel. 

On Government Radar

If Dred Pirate Anderson and the King’s Guard weren’t problems enough, the Department of Homeland Security is looking for something too. They know there was a massive energy busts off the SC coast a few weeks ago (detected by satellites as a possible nuclear detonation) and some small ships were in the area immediately following that event, clearly appearing on satellite images. However, these ships have zero electronic signatures and they’ve lost track of them. There have been some women turned aside from secured facilities in Charleston due to lack of ID and guards report they sounded and acted “weird.”

Maybe all of this is nothing, or maybe it’s a terrorist threat. Homeland security is busy, so they’ll get back to these reports later.

The ladies in Raiding are getting nervous in Ruby’s long absence. Crystal is still somewhere in Summerville, making noise on the internet but keeping her actual location secret. 

The Ladies in Raiding have have set up a welcome home party for Ruby. They’ve set it up so they can recruit some pretend pirates with contests and games in hopes of flooding Charleston with pretend pirates to throw Pirate Anderson’s Band and the King’s Guard off their trail. The party will be held from Wednesday, May 24 from 7 pm to 10:30 at Container Bar in Downtown Charleston. These lonely ladies from the past will need friends in the present to survive their visit to the future.  They’ve collected costume items and fake swords to turn their new friends into pretend pirates on the spot. 

Meanwhile young Crystal and her new teenage pirate friends from Rollins School of the arts didn’t show when third Thursday was rained out in Summerville last week. Crystal is thinking of taking the bus down to Charleston for the party with her new friends. Hopefully meeting Mom in a context where an actual flogging will be impossible. Mom is “Emerald” on the Jeweled Princess, the ships master at arms and she has punishment devices in her locker modern people would struggle to imagine. 

Far away, Queen Ruby is returning to Charleston by Private Jet, loaned to her by a High Tech Friend who may, or may not own it. He’s smitten with the powerful pirate lady. She’s encouraging his kind attention, but has been evasive. Ruby’s flying at night to reduce the chance she’ll be detected. She’s trying to get back to her Ladies in Raiding to plan her next move. In the Holy City, Pirate Anderson gets word of the Party and may show up. 

Will Crystal make it to the party with her new pretend Teenage Pirate friends. How will Emerald, her Mom react to her two week, unauthorized absence and new internet fame. How does being a teenaged pirate influencer fit into everyone’s plan. Things could get pretty intense when your mom owns a Cat-o-nine tails and thumb screws. 

Ruby is sending coded messages to the Ladies in Raiding at Container Bar. Can they decode them? Will she make it to the welcome home party in time?

What Happens Next

Will the Ladies in Raiding recruit the help they need to hide out in the Holy City or will Dred Pirate Anderson, the King’s Guard or even Homeland Security show up?

Will the Pirate Poetry offered in the contest be any good?

There once was a pirate named Ruby

Who took the bus to the beach for her booty

She lay on the sand

Getting warm and well-tanned

Enjoying rum drinks which were sweet and fruity. 

Come to Container Bar on Wednesday, May 24 to see what happens next.